Written by DJ Danforth
Posted with permission of the author
Many of the young men in the Native communities across Canada and the U.S. are in much need of traditional education of the right to express their sexuality and how to accept the nature of their sexuality. Colonization has certainly done its damage to our young men and not only is this affecting the young men, but the women and children of our communities as well. Today, our young men are more affected by these situations because of present-day Western-society’ s view on sexuality. Western society seems to believe that sexuality is linear; where men should love women and women should love men. That is to say, men should only do “manly” things and women should follow suit with their “womanly stuff”.
This is not how it was traditionally for our people; we respected the way people existed sexually for themselves and if for example, someone in the community was Two-Spirited or homosexual, well then that meant they possessed some healing powers and that was respected in the community. Today things have obviously changed and for the young men, there have been severe ramifications and long lasting effects across our nations. There has been a resurgence of programs that are women-centred and reach out to females for support and while this is a good and necessary thing; we still have a long way to go until either sex gets the healing they need. However, there are definitely not a lot of programs out there for men that reach out to our young men specifically who are growing up in a colonial and sexist world. This is truly problematic and I think we’re seeing the effects of it in young men’s ability to express their true sexuality and feel comfortable doing it.
Ever since the forceful enrollment of Native children in the 1800’s into boarding and residential schools, the learned behavior of the foreign world was forced upon our children into thinking that what was naturally right for us is actually wrong. The concept of these schools was to “kill the Indian and save the man” and through these types of concentration camps they began to carry out exactly what they set out to do. These forced teachings have had long term effects on our people and the victims began to live by what they were forcefully taught. This was principally out of fear that if they began to live the way their ancestors pasted down to them, then they would have to go back to these schools or worse. I remember a time when my father asked my great grandmother why she didn’t past down the tradition to his mother and him. She replied that she was scared that; “The soldiers would come back and take away her daughter and grandchildren” if they had learned the traditional way of life. These kinds of accounts are heard all over Turtle Island and through attending residential and boarding schools, our way of expressing sexuality began to disappear and turn into what we see today.
When I was teaching in Marty, South Dakota for the past two years, I witnessed many young men who thought that the correct way to treat their companions was through various forms of domestic violence. When I asked them where they had learned this behavior, the response was somewhat disturbing. They said that they would see their father abuse their mother and for the young men it was a way to show love to their partners, since the example was modeled directly in their homes. Again, we hear stories like this in many of our communities and the fact that there is not a lot being done to resolve these situations with our young people in mind is only making it acceptable to our youth. To think that youth today are raised believing it is okay to treat their companions with abuse is a very scary thing for our people.
As a young Native man who lives and works in the community, I have spent a lot of time reflecting on how men could do such things to women and how they could honestly say that it was love they were expressing to their partners. Today I have set a standard for myself to help all young men of color who are surviving colonization to educate and encourage them to express their true sexuality and learn about the affects of domestic violence and abuse. Young men need to come back to the roots of their culture and accept the fact that this is happening to our people everywhere. Only then we can try and figure out how we as a nation can help make it stop. If young men can come to terms with the realities that are happening to our people and recognize that it’s affecting our future generations, then that’s the same unity and strength our ancestors possessed. This is not only for men but for the women too, because the women are so very important to us. Women should and deserve to be treated as sacred beings with love and respect to the greatest level possible.
republished with permission from the author
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DJ Danforth is a proud 25 year-old Native young man from the Oneida Nation. He is currently the Youth Cultural Coordinator for the Oneida Tribe of Wisconsin, and sings with drum groups Elk Soldier and Tha Tribe.
