Tis the Season

SHELTER NEWS:

The shelter is now a stable institution on Standing Rock. Last spring, the Tribal Council awarded it a large grant to hire two more staff, create a Sexual Assault Response Team at the Tribal Administration level, and conduct educational programs! Not too shabby!

DECEMBER 8 UPDATE:

I just wanted to let everyone know that Georgia Littleshield is stepping down as director of the shelter as of December 11th for health reasons.

I'd like to take this opportunity to recognize Georgia for her contribution to the women on the Standing Rock Reservation. The fact that she never gave up when it seemed that the shelter was in imminent danger of closing, whether from vandalism and fire or for financial reasons, inspired so many people to help that we were able to raise enough money to buy a building.

So, Georgia, I want to say to you that you can be satisfied with the work you've done. You were an excellent public advocate for the shelter and its long-term existence is thanks to you.



2009 DONATIONS

I have two different ChipIn Widgets posted.

1. The first one is for the staff, which now numbers 4 (one of the shelter workers has recently resigned). If you contribute to that, it isn't tax deductible. If you choose this, when you go to the ChipIn, you will see my email address, not the shelter director's, since the money will go into my PayPal account. What I do is go to my TD bank and buy the fee-free gift cards they sell there, and then send them priority mail. The staff has been very surprised every year, and it has been touching to hear talk of tears on seeing how much each card has been for, etc. Since the shelter doesn't have Christmas bonuses in its budget, this is how we give those hard-working women some recognition!

2. I recently asked Georgia if there were any big-ticket items that they still needed (after all, they have the house, a new furnace, a fence, and bunkbeds for kids thanks to YOU!). She had a van for the shelter on her wishlist. I haven't gotten any estimates from them yet, but that's what they're wishing for. If you donate to this fund, it IS tax-deductible, and will go into the sheleter's general operating fund. If they get enough money for a van, great. If not, it will be put to good use anyway.

3. Material Donations (updated 11/13)- when I went out to the shelter last winter I was overwhelmed by the amount of clothing that had been donated, mostly by YOU folks. It was amazing. I will double check on this information, but if you are inclined to send clothes or items you have crocheted or knitted (beautiful work ladies, btw), there is an ongoing shortage of baby and young children's clothes. Blankets and throws are always needed, and the shelter will always gratefully accept adult clothes, but there are shortages of babies' and children's clothes if you are trying to prioritize your giving.

The shelter had been receiving palates of items every month from a larger organization. Unfortunately, that organization is now under new management, which is requiring them to do their paperwork all over again. With the shipments stopping, there is has been a sudden shortage of certain items, including: sheets and towels, feminine hygiene items, and shampoo. The shelter in fact is in desperate need of DIAPERS. You can have these items sent cheaply from online stores that offer free shipping (Amazon is free over $25, etc.).

Also, consider doing your on-line shopping through www.iGive.com. You can not only get a discount for yourself in many stores, but it amounts to extra donations from the shelter through the participating merchants.

If you want to send new clothes for adults, sweatsuits are ideal.

Thanks again from the bottom of my heart. I am looking forward to being moved to tears again this year by your generosity.

Here is a Thanksgiving Message from President Obama:

Tomorrow, Thanksgiving Day, Americans across the country will sit down together, count our blessings, and give thanks for our families and our loved ones.

American families reflect the diversity of this great nation. No two are exactly alike, but there is a common thread they each share.

Our families are bound together through times of joy and times of grief. They shape us, support us, instill the values that guide us as individuals, and make possible all that we achieve.

So tomorrow, I'll be giving thanks for my family -- for all the wisdom, support, and love they have brought into my life.

But tomorrow is also a day to remember those who cannot sit down to break bread with those they love.

The soldier overseas holding down a lonely post and missing his kids. The sailor who left her home to serve a higher calling. The folks who must spend tomorrow apart from their families to work a second job, so they can keep food on the table or send a child to school.

We are grateful beyond words for the service and hard work of so many Americans who make our country great through their sacrifice. And this year, we know that far too many face a daily struggle that puts the comfort and security we all deserve painfully out of reach.

So when we gather tomorrow, let us also use the occasion to renew our commitment to building a more peaceful and prosperous future that every American family can enjoy.

It seems like a lifetime ago that a crowd met on a frigid February morning in Springfield, Illinois to set out on an improbable course to change our nation.

In the years since, Michelle and I have been blessed with the support and friendship of the millions of Americans who have come together to form this ongoing movement for change.

You have been there through victories and setbacks. You have given of yourselves beyond measure. You have enabled all that we have accomplished -- and you have had the courage to dream yet bigger dreams for what we can still achieve.

So in this season of thanks giving, I want to take a moment to express my gratitude to you, and my anticipation of the brighter future we are creating together.

With warmest wishes for a happy holiday season from my family to yours,

President Barack Obama

You-Tube Video Gives Voice to Aboriginal Women Struggling with Drug Addiction

This is an announcement of a great project at the University of Saskatchewan.

By Jessica Yee

A powerful new music video From Stilettos to Moccasins was released this week, the culmination of a unique project that gave voice to Aboriginal women healing from drug abuse, addictions and problems with the law, together with those who are helping them on their journey.

The video is part of a community-based research project conducted by the University of Saskatchewan (U of S), National Native Addictions Partnership Foundation (NNAPF), and the Canadian Centre on Substance Abuse (CCSA). The roughly four-minute video was shared at a national CCSA conference in Halifax this week and can be viewed on You-Tube at: http://www.youtube. com/watch? v=1QRb8wA2iHs

The research project examined the role that identity and stigma have in the healing journeys of criminalized Aboriginal women in treatment for drug abuse at centres across Canada. The video is being used by the research team in the development of a discussion guide for workshops at addiction treatment centres across Canada.

“By creating a music video, based on the findings of academic research, we can increase our capacity to strengthen understanding about Aboriginal women’s treatment needs among a broad range of service providers and the general public,” said U of S sociologist Colleen Dell, Research Chair in Substance Abuse. “It also offers a unique and personalized message of hope and inspiration to women on their healing journeys.”

The song featured in the video was created at a workshop in February at Cedar Lodge on Blackstrap Lake, SK., with the professional collaboration of singer/songwriter Violet Naytowhow, a Woodland Cree from Prince Albert. Naytowhow and others who composed the song perform in the music video, which was presented in Halifax this week at the national conference “Issues of Substance” during National Addictions Awareness Week (Nov. 15-21).

“As a way of informing treatment practice, capturing the unique experiences of Aboriginal women who have recovered from their addictions in song is most inspiring,” says Rita Notarandrea, deputy chief executive officer of the Canadian Centre on Substance Abuse.

“We are merging these messages with academic literature and sharing this research with others, in the hope of achieving a greater impact on policy and practice of addictions treatment in Saskatchewan and across Canada,” says Carol Hopkins, NNAPF executive-director.

The team worked with Mae Star Productions, an independent Saskatchewan- based company, to produce the music video.

The multi-year collaborative research project was funded by the Canadian Institutes of Health Research, Institute of Aboriginal Peoples’ Health. The project involved interviews with more than 100 First Nations, Inuit and Métis women in treatment for illicit drug use.

'Tis the Season Folks!

Sorry for starting this a little late, I've had my own share of trials and tribulations this year, which made me lose a little track of time...

The post below this one illustrates how vital women's shelters are in domestic violence situations. The Netroots has been incredibly responsive to the needs of Pretty Bird Woman House (it wouldn't exist if it weren't for YOU), and so people haven't let me forget about the Christmas fundraiser....good job folks.

SHELTER NEWS:

The shelter is now a stable institution on Standing Rock. Last spring, the Tribal Council awarded it a large grant to hire two more staff, create a Sexual Assault Response Team at the Tribal Administration level, and conduct educational programs! Not too shabby!

UPDATE Nov. 18: One of the shelter staff has left. So, the donations for gift cards will be for three, not four people.

2009 DONATIONS

I have two different ChipIn Widgets posted.

1. The first one is for the staff, which now numbers 5. If you contribute to that, it isn't tax deductible. If you choose this, when you go to the ChipIn, you will see my email address, not the shelter director's, since the money will go into my PayPal account. What I do is go to my TD bank and buy the fee-free gift cards they sell there, and then send them priority mail. The staff has been very surprised every year, and it has been touching to hear talk of tears on seeing how much each card has been for, etc. Since the shelter doesn't have Christmas bonuses in its budget, this is how we give those hard-working women some recognition!

2. I recently asked Georgia if there were any big-ticket items that they still needed (after all, they have the house, a new furnace, a fence, and bunkbeds for kids thanks to YOU!). She had a van for the shelter on her wishlist. I haven't gotten any estimates from them yet, but that's what they're wishing for. If you donate to this fund, it IS tax-deductible, and will go into the sheleter's general operating fund. If they get enough money for a van, great. If not, it will be put to good use anyway.

3. Material Donations (updated 11/13)- when I went out to the shelter last winter I was overwhelmed by the amount of clothing that had been donated, mostly by YOU folks. It was amazing. I will double check on this information, but if you are inclined to send clothes or items you have crocheted or knitted (beautiful work ladies, btw), there is an ongoing shortage of baby and young children's clothes. Blankets and throws are always needed, and the shelter will always gratefully accept adult clothes, but there are shortages of babies' and children's clothes if you are trying to prioritize your giving.

The shelter had been receiving palates of items every month from a larger organization. Unfortunately, that organization is now under new management, which is requiring them to do their paperwork all over again. With the shipments stopping, there is has been a sudden shortage of certain items, including: sheets and towels, feminine hygiene items, and shampoo. The shelter in fact is in desperate need of DIAPERS. You can have these items sent cheaply from online stores that offer free shipping (Amazon is free over $25, etc.).

Also, consider doing your on-line shopping through www.iGive.com. You can not only get a discount for yourself in many stores, but it amounts to extra donations from the shelter through the participating merchants.

If you want to send new clothes for adults, sweatsuits are ideal.

Thanks again from the bottom of my heart. I am looking forward to being moved to tears again this year by your generosity.

Jesuit abuse lawsuit filing deadline is November 30

Most people on reservations will trace domestic violence to the boarding schools. There is a deadline to join a lawsuit for abuse suffered at Jesuit boarding schools. Please read below if you live in Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Montana, or Alaska, or know someone who does. Contact information is listed as well.

This is from an email I received today.

Jesuit abuse claim deadline is November 30, 2009

By Mark Matthews
Victims of Crime Services Department
Warm Springs Indian Reservation


If you know someone who has been abused by a Jesuit priest, Jesuit employee or volunteer, or at a Jesuit school in Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Montana or Alaska, then you need to know that the deadline to file a claim is November 30, 2009. This could be sexual or physical abuse from the Boarding School days or more recently.

Survivors of priest sex abuse, and physical abuse, are both Native American and Non-Native American. Many known pedophile priests were assigned to Indian Reservations, parishes and schools outside reservations in Montana, Oregon, Idaho, Washington and Alaska, where they committed abusive sexual acts, including rape. The same offender could abuse children in several different locations over many years. There were several occasions where the Church would transfer a pedophile priest to another location when a priest was suspected of physical or sexual abuse. In these situations the pedophiles would often abuse again.

As authority figures the Jesuit priests, teachers, employees and or volunteers who abused children told their victims that children would not be believed. Survivors of abuse at Jesuit institutions in the Oregon Province are able to come forward now as adults to file a claim against the Jesuits, but the time to find a claim has a deadline.

The Oregon Province of the Society of Jesus, also known as the Jesuits, includes the states of Montana, Idaho, Oregon, Washington and Alaska. The Society of Jesus Oregon Province have filed for Chapter 11 protection in US Bankruptcy Court in response to a lawsuit in which 63 Native Alaskan victims alleged they were sexually abused by Jesuits.

Attorneys who will accept Jesuit abuse victims as clients filing claims in this bankruptcy case include Portland attorneys: 1) Kelly Clark, telephone (503) 306-0224; E-mail kellyc@oandc.com, and 2) former Madras resident Erin Olson, telephone (503) 546-3150; E-mail eolson@erinolsonlaw.com.

For more information about Jesuit abuse claims & the November 30, 2009 filing deadline, go to: www.bmcgroup.com/sjop and or http://www.jesuitabuse.com/jesuit_sex_abuse.html.

This article’s information was provided by a letter sent to the Confederated Tribes of the Warm Springs Reservation of Oregon from the Society of Jesus for the Oregon Province, and the above referenced websites and attorneys.

This information is submitted to the tribal community as a public service by VOCS, the Warm Springs Victims of Crime Services Department., which is partially funded by grant # 2006-VR-GX-0017(awarded by the Office for Victims of Crime/USDOJ) & FVPSA grant G-07PBORFVPS (awarded by the Admn. For Children & Families, USDH&HS). Points of view in this document are those of VOCS & do not necessarily represent the official position of the Confederated Tribes of the Warm Springs Reservation of Oregon, the US Departments of Justice or Health and Human Services, nor are they an endorsement of the mentioned law firms.

'Tis the Season Folks!

Sorry for starting this a little late, I've had my own share of trials and tribulations this year, which made me lose a little track of time...

The post below this one illustrates how vital women's shelters are in domestic violence situations. The Netroots has been incredibly responsive to the needs of Pretty Bird Woman House (it wouldn't exist if it weren't for YOU), and so people haven't let me forget about the Christmas fundraiser....good job folks.

SHELTER NEWS:

The shelter is now a stable institution on Standing Rock. Last spring, the Tribal Council awarded it a large grant to hire two more staff, create a Sexual Assault Response Team at the Tribal Administration level, and conduct educational programs! Not too shabby!

2009 DONATIONS

I have two different ChipIn Widgets posted.

1. The first one is for the staff, which now numbers 5. If you contribute to that, it isn't tax deductible. If you choose this, when you go to the ChipIn, you will see my email address, not the shelter director's, since the money will go into my PayPal account. What I do is go to my TD bank and buy the fee-free gift cards they sell there, and then send them priority mail. The staff has been very surprised every year, and it has been touching to hear talk of tears on seeing how much each card has been for, etc. Since the shelter doesn't have Christmas bonuses in its budget, this is how we give those hard-working women some recognition!

2. I recently asked Georgia if there were any big-ticket items that they still needed (after all, they have the house, a new furnace, a fence, and bunkbeds for kids thanks to YOU!). She had a van for the shelter on her wishlist. I haven't gotten any estimates from them yet, but that's what they're wishing for. If you donate to this fund, it IS tax-deductible, and will go into the sheleter's general operating fund. If they get enough money for a van, great. If not, it will be put to good use anyway.

3. Material Donations (updated 11/13)- when I went out to the shelter last winter I was overwhelmed by the amount of clothing that had been donated, mostly by YOU folks. It was amazing. I will double check on this information, but if you are inclined to send clothes or items you have crocheted or knitted (beautiful work ladies, btw), there is an ongoing shortage of baby and young children's clothes. Blankets and throws are always needed, and the shelter will always gratefully accept adult clothes, but there are shortages of babies' and children's clothes if you are trying to prioritize your giving.

The shelter had been receiving palates of items every month from a larger organization. Unfortunately, that organization is now under new management, which is requiring them to do their paperwork all over again. With the shipments stopping, there is has been a sudden shortage of certain items, including: sheets and towels, feminine hygiene items, and shampoo. The shelter in fact is in desperate need of DIAPERS. You can have these items sent cheaply from online stores that offer free shipping (Amazon is free over $25, etc.).

Also, consider doing your on-line shopping through www.iGive.com. You can not only get a discount for yourself in many stores, but it amounts to extra donations from the shelter through the participating merchants.

If you want to send new clothes for adults, sweatsuits are ideal.

Thanks again from the bottom of my heart. I am looking forward to being moved to tears again this year by your generosity.

A Must-Read Domestic Violence Story

I'm Scared. And I'm Really F@cking Angry
by Got a Grip, cross-posted, with permission, from the Daily Kos.

This is an incredibly gripping essay about an incident of domestic violence that almost killed a woman, and revealed the bravery of her little daughters. I am cross-posting it in the hopes someone will find the situation familiar and get the women and children out of the house before something like this happens. This is why we have women's shelters like the Pretty Bird Woman House.

Also, this story does not take place on a rez, but in the midwest. However, you'll see the same issues of unemployment, crowded housing, and domestic violence playing out in familiar ways.

Please note that there are a few profanities sprinkled through this essay. I find the language understandable and appropriate to the situation. However, you might not. Just be forewarned if you are sensitive to this.

Last night my 12 year old granddaughter, small and skinny and maybe 70 lbs. in full winter gear and soaking wet, flung herself onto the back of a man that she's known most of her life, a man she loved and trusted, and fought like a tiger in a death match to keep him from beating her mother to death. She bit him, pulled out chunks of his hair and beat him about the face with sharp little fists until her knuckles were bloody and his face was bruised and swollen. When that failed, she broke the broom and began beating him with the handle. Her step-father was so drunk, so enraged and so focused on beating her mother to death that I doubt he even felt it.

Thank God.

Because if he had noticed her through the haze of alcohol and adrenaline pumping through his body, he might have turned on my granddaughter and crushed her tender young bones in his fury.

Got a Grip's diary :: ::
Mom and Step-dad have three other kids besides Mandy. In fact, Mandy has seven half-siblings, my son having contributed four girls to the total (and there's a step-brother, too.) Anyone wishing to fling about ramblings on the ill-advisement of having this clusterfuck of far-flung kids should stifle it, at least for today. I know for a fact that my son was raised to fucking well know better, but despite my extensive discussions about safe and responsible sex, lectures on population growth, the difficulties of raising mass quantities of children, etc., etc., etc., he just kept breeding and I couldn't stop him. So they're here now and I love them and wouldn't trade any one of them for anything on earth, and if you've got an opinion on THAT right now I'd really suggest keeping that shit to yourself.

But I fucking digress.

Mom and Step-dad's relationship has been over for a couple of years now, but because of the shitty economy and the fact that neither one of them have the education or training to do anything that would benefit them monetarily, they are trapped like rats in a box full of poverty. They can't stand each other any longer but they can't afford to get away from each other, either. The relationship began to hit the skids when Step-dad became depressed about losing a series of dignity-stripping jobs (none of which was his fault, it was all the economy) and began to self-medicate with handy, cheap alcohol and the occasional pinch of meth helpfully donated by any of the dozens of losers huddled in the tranquil hills nearby who cook the shit up for freaked-out fun and marginal profit. What a bad idea.

To compound this, Step-dad's mother and Mom's father have both moved in with them over the course of the past two years. They're both down on their luck and trapped in poverty, too, so they all banded together in abject misery to try to survive together. Just Mom and Step-dad and Grandma C and Grandpa B and four sweet little kids trapped in a shitty house in a cesspool of a tiny town with no hope that relief will ever come. An accident waiting to happen.

The frenzied struggle began when Step-dad, drunk and belligerent, came staggering into the bedroom where Mandy was watching music videos online while Mom was snuggled down in the bed. Mandy's computer is kept in her mother's bedroom so that her mom can monitor her use. It was about 11 oclock and Mandy should have been in bed, but she's a nightowl and her mom is okay with that.

Step-dad and Mom haven't slept in the same room for well over a year now, so the fact that he's staggered into this bedroom at all means he's looking for trouble. Step-dad looks at Mandy, whirls around towards the bed and bellows "That fuckin' kid is still on the fuckin' internet! This is all your fuckin' fault!" and then swings his fist full force, connecting with the back of Mom's head. Mom flies out of the bed, whips around and shoves Step-dad out of the door and away from Mandy. Mom is understandably enraged now, too, and she's trying like hell to propel him down the stairs and away from the children, but Step-dad is in no mood to be shoved, nosiree, and he starts to swing away and Mom swings back because this is war now. Mandy snatches up her cellphone, dials 911, starts screaming her address into the phone and that Step-dad is killing Mom. Step-dad pushes himself far enough back in the door to slap the phone out of Mandy's hands and break it. As the phone flies out of her hands Mandy catches a glimpse of her eight year old sister flying down the stairs and away from the battle towards the house phone. She can't see her sister but she hears her start screaming the address and Mandy yells for her to run outside with the phone and hide but STAY ON THE PHONE. Mom's got her feet under her again and she pistons Step-dad down the stairs in the kind of adrenaline rush that only comes when you know you're about to fight for your life and the lives of your children.

But now they're out in the open space of the kitchen and although Mom is tough and she's not gonna go down without a fight, Step-dad is big and powerful and is in a blind rage and he shoves Mom off and into the corner against the cabinets and starts beating her with hammer fists in the face. Mandy is right on their heels and she remembers the tricks I taught her but Step-dad has Mom angled into a corner now where she can't try a leg sweep so she flings herself on his back and frantically tries to get a grip on a thumb. His fists are moving too fast, they're so tightly closed and so slick with Mom's blood that she can't get hold of one and she's enraged now too and goes full animal on his ass and starts pummeling and biting and yanking his hair but he just keeps pounding pounding pounding.

Grandma C flies down the stairs and tries to get between Step-dad (her son) and Mom, but Step-dad flings her away like a rag against the cabinets, breaking her hand. It flings Mandy off, too, and she desperately looks for a weapon. She sees the broom, snatches it up and swings hard and the broom handle breaks but Step-dad has regained his focus and is pounding pounding pounding. Mandy grabs the broken handle and starts swinging for all she's worth and Grandma C jumps back in to have another go, broken hand and all. They're all screaming for Grandpa B except for Step-dad who is roaring incoherently but Grandpa B is a sound sleeper and slightly deaf, so their pleas are literally falling on deaf ears. Little sister has released the dogs and comes flying in the back door with them now screaming ATTACK! ATTACK! ATTACK! and the dogs correctly sum up the situation and begin biting at Step-dad's arms, trying to get a firm hold. They can't get hold of him either and start biting at his back and legs. He keeps on pounding pounding pounding.

Little sister is screaming for Mandy now, screaming for help because 911 needs directions and Little sister can't remember all the streets. The town cop lives three doors down, but 911 doesn't know how to get there. Mandy drops the broom handle and snatches the phone and starts giving directions and Little sister picks up the broom handle and starts beating beating beating on Step-dad, her real dad. Step-dad strikes out to rid himself of the biting dogs and dislodges Grandma C again and hits Little sister in the process, sending her flying, but she's a tough little customer, too, and she hops right back up and goes right back to beating her father with that broomstick.

The screaming and barking have finally insinuated themselves into Grandpa B's slumber and he comes shooting out of his bedroom in his tightie whities to see Step-dad flailing away at the bloody mess of his daughter's face. She's put up a hell of a defense but her arms are too tired and beaten to defend her any longer. But Grandpa B is still a strapping man and he's got a full head of steam building. He bulldozes his way in between his daughter and this madman and manages to shove him far enough back to really get in between them. This seems to throw gasoline on the already white-hot rage Step-dad is engulfed in and he starts screaming vile things while pounding away at Grandpa B with renewed vigor. But Grandpa B spent some time in the Big House once upon a time and this ain't his first fucking rodeo. He uses his arms to defend and to shove Step-dad back into the open. With Little Sister still flailing away with the broomstick, Mandy pulling his hair, Grandma C pawing at his arms and the dogs still biting, Grandpa B finally wrestles Step-dad to the ground and pins him there. Step-dad is firmly pinned, but he's still struggling and caterwauling. Mandy snatches the broom handle back from little sister and takes a position where she can swing at Step-dad's head should he break free. Little sister takes up the business end of the broken broom and assumes a position just like Mandy's. One dog has a firm grip on Step-dad's left ankle while the other assumes an attack position right at Step-dad's throat, looks him in the eye and bears his teeth. Grandma C and Mom both slump to the floor. They all stay this way for several long minutes until the cops finally arrive to take over.

Step-dad wants to fight the cops, too, but Grandpa B has him in such a good hold that they get the cuffs on him and into the back of the cop car with relative ease. The ambulances finally arrive and take Grandma C to the hospital. Though badly beaten and shaken, Mom refuses to go because she can't afford to pay the bill so the paramedics check her over thoroughly as well as Grandpa B, Little sister and Mandy. Little Sister and Mandy are pretty much unscathed physically, save for Mandy's bloodied knuckles. Grandpa B took quite a few tough punches but like I said, this ain't his first rodeo and he'll live to defend and protect another day. Mom is pretty banged up and should really go and have x-rays to make sure there are no fractures around her eyes and cheeks. She's got a rough couple of days ahead of her but she's made of stern stuff.

When the ambulances arrive, Step-dad works his way out of the handcuffs and manages to open the back door of the cop car (you know, the ones that only open from the outside) and get out. The sheriff sees him and starts to walk toward him, hand on holster. He starts bawling and says "I just want to see them and make sure they're okay." The sheriff snorts and says "You shoulda thought of that before you beat the shit outta anyone who ever gave a damn about you, you dumb fuck! Now get your stupid ass in the GOD DAMNED CAR! You are FUCKED, son!" Mandy is oddly pleased by the sheriff's phraseology.

The two little ones sleep through it all, blissfully unaware that their father has done his best to kill their mother or that he almost succeeded.

Mandy and Little sister give their statements to the police late into the night, both oral and written. Little sister needs an assist from the policewoman because she doesn't write well yet. Everyone who reads Mandy's written statement comments on how well it's written, her lovely penmanship, her accurate use of punctuation, the clarity or her statement. ("I've really been working on the proper use of my commas, grandma," she told me.) Between the two of them, these little girls have witnessed the entire thing, there are no missing pieces to this puzzle. As they sit and wait for the process to take it's course, Mandy pulls her little sister close and strokes her hair, tells her how proud she is of her and what a good job she did.

"I'm so proud of her, grandma. She listened and did everything just right. I'm so glad she ran for the phone. She thought of the dogs all by herself, grandma. I'm just so proud of her."

"I'm proud of her, too," I say. My brave, brave girl, so proud of her little sister.

While she's comforting her sister, Mandy listens to the conversation of the cops, social workers, counselors and miscellaneous adults thrown into action by this assault. She realizes that a lot of the talk is about her, about what a remarkable girl she is.

"That one's got a hell of a good head on her shoulders."

"I'm not sure I could have given directions while fighting that jackass. I don't think I know anyone that could."

"The little one just followed her sister's lead and they fought him off until the old man showed up. That girl's one tough cookie."

"Can you believe she's only 12? Fantastic kid, that one."

(my personal favorite) "Naw, he ain't her real father. Look how smart she is! She didn't come from that dumb bastard."

And on and on.

Little pitchers have big ears, but in this case I'm glad she's hearing what they are saying. It does her good to hear that these random grown-ups think she's a fantastic kid. Because she is.

On the strength of the girl's statements alone, the judge issues an ex-parte order before even taking off his coat this morning. It's kind of a moot point at the moment because Step-dad is in lock-up at least until December 18th when he'll appear in court, but all bets are off after that. Mandy is relieved by the ex-parte. She's too inexperienced to know that waving a piece of paper and shouting threats of jail at a madman will have no effect if he is intent on making you dead. But the piece of paper is making her feel safe for the first time all day, and I desperately want her to hold on to that. There will be time to approach this from a different angle on a different day, and we'll discuss new safety measures, escape routes inside and out of the house and also more self-defense. She was prepared to use what she knew, she just didn't know enough. I'm taking care of that, pronto.

When my son gets the call, he runs to the car and speeds to his daughter. He's a remarkably gentle soul, is my youngest son, but when it comes to protecting his kids he takes no prisoners. He has time to calm down in the car, and there is no way that he'll set eyes on Step-dad today so there will be no ugly confrontations. My son and her mother both try to persuade Mandy to go home with her dad and stay the week, but she won't hear of it. Her little brother and sisters need her, especially Little sister, of whom she is so proud. And someone needs to take care of Mom. No one can take care of Mom as good as she can.

Mandy's in full caretaker mode. Bitter personal experience tells me it's best to let her act on it. During the two hours she spent on the phone with me, she told me that she hasn't cried yet. She's not letting herself be scared, she's putting her head down and pushing forward and for the moment, knowing her as I do, I think that's best. She's told her story over and over and over and she's sick of telling it, but she said that telling it to me and to daddy and to Aunt S (Mom's sister, and a much beloved aunt) really helped make her feel safe and calm. When the weekend comes she'll come to stay with dad and he'll fold her into a ball on his lap and surround her in safe, loving arms for as long as she needs it.

I'll go down to be there, too, and she and I will take a long walk in the woods (as is our wont) and she'll talk and ask me questions, and I'll give her honest answers as gently as I know how. I'll explain how I've been in her shoes, and Mom's too, and I understand about as well as anyone can how things went down. We'll discuss what it's like to fight to save yourself or someone you love, and I can tell her that I've felt all the things she's feeling right now, that I've been where she is right now and she can tell me anything, it's all safe with me, she's safe with me. And then she will finally cry and it will all come spilling out in a rush and I will absorb the flood of words and tears, the confusion, the betrayal, the terror, the anger, the desire for retribution warring with her innate gentleness and generosity of spirit. It will all flow over and through me and burn me to the bone.

The worst is knowing that Mandy will now bear a wound that will never heal. Violence crept in the back door of her life and stayed to throw a wild party. The collateral damage will be great, no matter how well we handle things from this point forward. We will salve the wound as best we can, but intimate history informs me that the best you can hope for is a scar that doesn't cripple you but reminds you every day to be careful who you love and trust, because without warning they might just turn on you and try to love you to death. My beautiful gentle girl, already grown wise beyond her years due to circumstances beyond her control, has had yet another piece of innocence ripped from her grasp. She now knows something that no adult should know, much less a child. When reason left her and her flight-or-flight response kicked in, she chose fight. And when fight proved to be not enough she found a weapon and threw herself into the task at hand. Trying to get Step-dad to stop was replaced with the desire to see him suffer, and if he died So. Be. It. He wasn't gonna kill her Mom because she was gonna kill him first.

Mandy now knows something that most people don't, and all of you without this knowledge should fall to your knees and thank whatever deity wanders by that this knowledge has been kept from you. She knows that when push comes to shove, she's capable of great violence. It won't ever be her choice to start it, but she's capable of fighting to the death to end it.

No child should have this knowledge.

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Today, November 10th, 2009 is the 29th anniversary of my first husband's suicide. While some years this anniversary is more troubling than others, this year it has been weighing me down for weeks. I've been looking around me at my neighbors, my children, this nation struggling just to keep from drowning in poverty and despair and I feel their hopelessness. I wonder how many women will relive the day I had 29 long years ago. I worry about how many children will go to bed hungry tonight, or cold. Or scared. Or dead.

And now this.

It's really no different than the hundreds of other domestic abuse incidents that happen every day in this country, in this world. It's just that this time it's happened to my beautiful, sweet, responsible granddaughter.

Ironically, I'd started working on a diary about the young women I see in these little cesspool towns and what a struggle it is to teach them to be good parents and responsible adults when the only support system they have, if they have one at all, is so flimsy. Instead you're being treated to my panicky free-association babblings while I try to restore order to the universe as I know it.

When I got the call, my first instinct was to grab my broom, drive the eight hours to the jail, force my way inside and beat Step-dad with my broomhandle until the cops from the neighboring county arrived to loan the local boys a taser to take grandma down. I'm a bit more calm now.

But I've been brooding about the incredible political blows we've absorbed these last few weeks and in the process of writing this something has solidified. The vote in Maine, the weak HCR, the Stupak atrocity, a local fight over parking spaces at the besieged Planned Parenthood down the street, the stupid and fruitless wars that never ever end, the environmental rape that continues daily, the fatcats on Wall Street bloating like disease-spreading ticks on the blood of people who have worked hard for less than nothing. I held the hand of my neighbor over the fence just two days ago as she fought back tears because her husband is working but he's not getting paid and they've used up all their savings and their utilities will be shut off at the end of the week and she has no hope, no hope, it's all gone and she doesn't know what to tell the kids.

And then I listen to these gasbags on the TeeVee and watch the despicable games being played in Congress and in elections across this nation, games that destroy the very people these parasites feed upon, and I am just flabbergasted.

Are you gonna sit there and tell me Mr. Gasbag/Mr. Congressman that that little clump of cells is a sacred treasure which must be saved at all costs and then turn around and say that providing healthcare for that clump of cells once the cord is cut is fiscally irresponsible and that the little bastard is now on its own?

Are you really gonna sit there and tell me Mr. Gasbag/Mr. Congressman that driving people into poverty so deep that they don't even have a shitty car to live in while Wall Street thieves, military contractors and environmental rapists grow ever more porcine and gluttonous is GOOD FOR THE COUNTRY and then turn around and LECTURE people driven mad with despair about bootstraps while hucking the occasional chunk of expired government cheese at them?

Are you gonna sit there and tell me Mr. Gasbag/Mr. Congressman that my gay friend's desires to have a legal joining that affords them the rights that the most basic common decency prescribes is somehow a THREAT to the kind of "TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE" that my granddaughter witnessed last night?

Because if that's where we are at this point in the conversation, then I just have one thing to say to you, Mr. Gasbag/Mr. Congressman.

FUCK YOU

The guy gets it!

The Women of Standing Rock

Two big things today:

1. A pair of French journalists went out to Standing Rock in January to do a story on the women Standing Rock and what is being done to combat domestic violence on the reservation. I happened to be out there at the same time, and saw their integrity and sensitivity. It is now available with incredible photographs on Getty Images. The title of the article, by journalist Anne Senges, is: The Women of Standing Rock. It's really excellent work.

2.. You can watch a live stream of the White House Tribal Nations Conference, which is taking place NOW, at CSPAN. It is the first such conference since 1944 (can you believe that?) and reflects the priority the Obama Administration is placing on Tribal issues. It's live, so if you are going there before from noon to 1:45pm EST, they're on a lunch break.

You can see the introduction and Obama's opening remarks HERE.

Don't miss it

SENATE INDIAN AFFAIRS COMMITTEE TO REVIEW FEDERAL PROCESS FOR TRIBAL ACKNOWLEDGMENT

More progress. Here's the press release from the Senate Committee on Indian Affairs.

WASHINGTON, DC - U.S. Senator Byron Dorgan (D-ND), Chairman of the U.S. Senate Committee on Indian Affairs, announced Tuesday the panel will hold a congressional oversight hearing at 2:15 PM on Wednesday, November 4. The hearing will examine Department of Interior efforts to repair the federal acknowledgement process for Indian tribes. It will also review proposals for improving the system.
Securing formal, federal tribal recognition is vital. It establishes a formal government-to-government relationship between the tribe and the U.S. government. Once federally recognized, a tribe has access to federal benefits and programs.
Yet, the acknowledgement process is broken and has been since it was established in 1978. Tribes routinely wait decades without getting a decision. Some tribes, including one tribe which will present testimony at the hearing, have been stuck in the federal acknowledgment process since 1978 with no decision. The prolonged process cost tribes funds urgently needed elsewhere, and denies tribes that are eventually recognized access to benefits and programs, often for decades.
Details follow:
WHO: U.S. Senate Committee on Indian Affairs, Senator Byron Dorgan, Chairman; Senator John Barrasso (R-WY), Vice Chairman, and other members of the committee.
WITNESSES: George Skibine, Acting Principal Deputy Assistant Secretary for Indian Affairs, U.S. Department of Interior; Frank Ettawageshik, Chair, Federal Acknowledgement Task Force, National Congress of American Indians; John Sinclair, President, Little Shell Tribe of Chippewa Indians, Havre, Montana; Ann D. Tucker, Tribal Chairperson, Muscogee Nation of Florida, Bruce, Florida; and Patty Ferguson-Bohnee, Director, Indian Legal Clinic, Tempe, Arizona.
WHAT: Congressional oversight hearing
WHEN: 2:15 PM, Wednesday, November 4, 2009
WHERE: 628 Dirksen Senate Office Building, U.S. Senate, Washington, D.C.
WHY: To review Department of Interior efforts to repair the federal acknowledgement process for granting formal recognition to Indian tribes.

President Obama Declares November Native American Heritage Month

Accompanying this declaration will be the first ever White House Tribal Nations Conference. FIVE HUNDRED tribal leaders from across the nation are expected to attend. More on that over at Indianz.com., where you can also get the schedule for that conference.

Here's the White House Press release:

NATIONAL NATIVE AMERICAN HERITAGE MONTH, 2009
- - - - - - -
BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

A PROCLAMATION

The indigenous peoples of North America -- the First Americans -- have woven rich and diverse threads into the tapestry of our Nation's heritage. Throughout their long history on this great land, they have faced moments of profound triumph and tragedy alike. During National Native American Heritage Month, we recognize their many accomplishments, contributions, and sacrifices, and we pay tribute to their participation in all aspects of American society.

This month, we celebrate the ancestry and time-honored traditions of American Indians and Alaska Natives in North America. They have guided our land stewardship policies, added immeasurably to our cultural heritage, and demonstrated courage in the face of adversity. From the American Revolution to combat missions in Iraq and Afghanistan, they have fought valiantly in defense of our Nation as dedicated servicemen and women. Their native languages have also played a pivotal role on the battlefield. During World Wars I and II, Native American code talkers developed unbreakable codes to communicate military messages that saved countless lives. Native Americans have distinguished themselves as inventors, entrepreneurs, spiritual leaders, and scholars. Our debt to our First Americans is immense, as is our responsibility to ensure their fair, equal treatment and honor the commitments we made to their forebears.

The Native American community today faces huge challenges that have been ignored by our Government for too long. To help address this disparity, the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act allocates more than $3 billion to help these communities deal with their most pressing needs. In the Fiscal Year 2010 budget, my Administration has proposed over $17 billion for programs carried out by the Bureau of Indian Affairs, Indian Health Service, and other Federal agencies that have a critical role to play in improving the lives of Native Americans. These programs will increase educational opportunities, address the scourge of alcohol abuse and domestic violence, promote economic development, and provide access to comprehensive, accessible, and affordable health care. While funding increases do not make up for past deficiencies, they do reflect our determination to honor tribal sovereignty and ensure continued progress on reservations across America.

As we seek to build on and strengthen our nation-to-nation relationship, my Administration is committed to ensuring tribal communities have a meaningful voice in our national policy debates as we confront the challenges facing all Americans. We will continue this constructive dialogue at the White House Tribal Nations Conference held in Washington, D.C., this month. Native American voices have echoed through the mountains, valleys, and plains of our country for thousands of years, and it is now our time to listen.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim November 2009 as National Native American Heritage Month. I call upon all Americans to commemorate this month with appropriate programs and activities, and to celebrate November 27, 2009, as Native American Heritage Day.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this thirtieth day of October, in the year of our Lord two thousand nine, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-fourth.
BARACK OBAMA

Celebrating Solutions Awards

From my email today:

The Mary Byron Project created the Celebrating Solutions Awards to showcase and applaud local innovations that demonstrate promise in breaking the cycle of violence. We select programs that can serve as models for the nation and offer $10,000 cash awards in recognition of their pioneering efforts.

Nominations for 2009-2010 are now open. The deadline for submission (must be postmarked by) November 17, 2009. Current year 2009-2010 nomination form is now available.

Here is the website: http://www.marybyronproject.org/CelebratingSolutions.html

Who's Eligible?

ELIGIBILITY CRITERIA:

Both the nominated program and the institution must have been operating for a minimum of three years.
The program must address the issue of domestic violence.
The program must be part of a non-profit 501(c)(3) or government agency.
The program should be replicable, or if it is national in scope, the program should have applications for individual communities, regardless of their size or ethnic population.